the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
