Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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