R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
