fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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