Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
