She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My life is pants optional.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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