btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
