Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
