woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
