That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
