i just had sex bonerless
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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