That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
MIDGETS
????
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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