The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
