Someone shit on the floor
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
