I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
