In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
