So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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