I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
