just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
