on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
