He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize