I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
