he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
