just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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