just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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