Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
