Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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