Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We need to rekindle our bromance
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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