If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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