In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
