She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you traded sex for a burrito?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
