We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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