didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
