Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
