hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
