I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
