I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Alive.
So much puke
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
