Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize