just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
