Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
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