We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
