I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
