He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
