I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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