Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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