Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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