Welp...herpes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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