Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
