I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
