just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
