She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
