Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How does it feel to date your dad?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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