I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
