A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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