My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?