i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
